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Everytime you feel like you cannot go on
You feel so lost
That your so alone

All you is see is night
And darkness all around
You feel so helpless
You can’t see which way to go
Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side

In sya’ Allah x3
In sya’ Allah you’ll find your way

Everytime you can make one more mistake
You feel you can’t repent
And that its way too late
Your’re so confused, wrong decisions you have made
Haunt your mind and your heart is full of shame

Don’t despair and never loose hope
Cause Allah is always by your side
Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way
Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah you’ll find your way

Turn to Allah
He’s never far away
Put your trust in Him
Raise your hands and pray

OOO Ya Allah
Guide my steps don’t let me go astray
You’re the only one that showed me the way,
Showed me the way x2
Insya Allah x3
Insya Allah we’ll find the way

Begin with Yourself

BismiLLah…

A man went to Ibn ‘Abbas radiAllaahu ‘anhu and said, “O Ibn ‘Abbas, I want to enjoin people to do good and forbid them from doing evil.” Ibn ‘Abbas said, “And have you reached that level?” He said, “I hope that that is so.” He said, “If you do not fear to be exposed by three verses of Allah’s Book, then do so.” The man asked, “And what are they?” He mentioned this verse:

1- Enjoin you Al-Birr (piety and righteousness and each and every act of obedience to Allâh) on the people and you forget (to practise it) yourselves.” (Baqarah 2:44)

And then asked, “Have you applied the implications of this verse?” He said, “No.” Ibn ‘Abbas then mentioned the second verse:

2- O you who believe! Why do you say that which you do not do? Most hateful it is with Allâh that you say that which you do not do. (As-Saff 61:2-3)

After that he asked, “Have you applied the implications of this verse?” He said, “No.” He then mentioned the third verse regarding Shu’aib alayhi salaam:

3- “I wish not, in contradiction to you, to do that which I forbid you.” (Hud 11:88)

And then he asked, “Have you applied the implications of this verse?” He said, “No.” Ibn ‘Abbas said, “Then begin with yourself.”

Let the flames burn

The chronicles of the O&G Long case

BismiLLah…

Alhamdulillah, the long case has ended, and so the panic attack.

2 days before exam:

I already had anticipatory anxiety. Started to have intense fear plus palpitation, shortness of breath, chills, chest tightness, light-headedness and fear of losing control. Yes, these made the DSM IV criteria for panic attack fulfilled. Luckily having panic attack when the exam is approaching is considered normal. Otherwise, I might be diagnosed with panic disorder and hence, a psychiatric patient.

The day of exam:

I was calmer. Much calmer. Thanks to Allah, mak, ayah and friends who had solemnly prayed for me. But…

As expected, I still failed to hide my nervousness.

I locked myself in between the house grill and door, then I realised my set of keys was inside my room.  Luckily my housemates were still at home. *sigh* (I have never been this clumsy before!)

My case was Gestational Diabetes Mellitus with 2 previous Caesarean scars and uterus large for date. Lucky me, i was aiming for GDM! Alhamdulillah, the exam went well apart from given the wrong information by the MO ( T_T ) and  a few stupid mistakes that i would not do outside the exam.

The stupid-ness that I could not forget most was…

“What are the causes of uterus larger than date?”
- Multiple pregnancy, polyhydramnios, macrosomic baby, uterine tumour such as fibroid and… em… (Oh, why i suddenly forgot?)
“Ok, what is the commonest cause of uterus larger than date? Not in her case, but generally.”
- Emm.. (OMG, why I couldn’t recall this?)
“Ok, when was your menses 3 months ago?”
- Emm, mine? (This is weird… ) Em… Yah, I know! (I did not mean the date.)
“Is it easy to remember?”
- No. Em, yaaahh… the commonest cause of uterus larger than date is wrong date. *sigh*

Exam finished at 10.20 am. And I walked out of the room feeling really stupid. I mean, I just wanted to laugh of myself. I know I would have done better if I could get control of myself during the exam. Takpe, Allah Knows BEST.

The nurse that opened the door for me rubbed my back, and shouted to a few other nurses outside. Look at her, she was so anxious! Her hands were cold like ices. And… they all held my hands. Thank you dear nurses. It was really warm! The funny thing was, I did not realise that I was so obviously nervous inside the room until the nurses told me. They then asked me to rest a while, but I just walked fast heading to the waiting room to take my bag. But then I realised, I was heading nowhere! I came back to the nurse and ask, where the room is. And the room was just in front of me! Hurriedly i took my things, but apparently i dropped my things on the floor twice, and my bag got stuck when I walked out through the door.  *blush*

1 hour exam was really like a looooong day.*sigh*

I had tried my best, and I surrender the rest to YOU, the Almighty.

[empty]

BismiLLah…

I really have to get a hold onto myself…

Just a little bit more

And it will end soon.

Very SOON.

Patience and Gratitude

BismiLLah…

There’s a lot of things to regret, but a lot more to be grateful of. All praises be to God, the Creator of this world.

Gratitude of different faculties
by Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah

A man said to Abu Hazim: “What is the gratitude of the eyes?”
He said “If you see good things, you speak about them, and if you see bad things, you keep quiet about it.”

He asked “What is the gratitude of the ears?“
He said, “If you hear something good, you accept it, and if you hear something bad, you reject it.“

Then he asked “What is the gratitude of the hands?“
He said, “Do not take that which does not belong to you and do not hold back from paying the dues of Allah (zakat).“

Then he asked, “What is the gratitude of the head?“
He said “To have knowledge in it.“

Then he asked “What is the gratitude of o­ne’s private parts?“
He quoted: “Who guard their private parts, except from those joined to them in the marriage bond, or (the captives) whom their right hands possess – for (in their case) they are free from blame, but those whose desires exceed those limits are transgressors.” (23:5-7)

As for those who o­nly pay lip service to gratitude, and do not give thanks with the rest of their faculties, are concerned, they are like a man who has a garment, and all he does with it is touch it, but he does not put it o­n: it will never protect him from heat, cold, snow or rain.

Musim exam tiba lagi

Let the picture talks

A lesson from my ‘lil sis

BismiLLah…

I was busy with our group research when I receive a call from my 8-year-old little sister. As usual, she kept on asking when would I go back to KL. And each time she called, it was difficult to end the conversation.

“Kakak, please turn on the loud speaker, so that you can do work while talking to me.”

“Oh, I can’t because I’ll disturb other people here.”

“Are you with your friends now?”

“Yes my dear sister.”

“Can I talk to them?”

“They are busy, adik.”

“Kakak, why do you speak English with your friends?”

“Oh, because I was talking to my Chinese friend.”

“Oh, you have Chinese friends? How about Indians? How many are they?”

“15 of us. Only 6 are Malay, 1 Indian and the rest are Chinese.”

“Kakak, have you taught them?”

“Teach them what?”

“About Islam?”

“Hah? Not yet.”

“When are you going to talk to them about Islam? When will you bring them into Islam?”

“Hah?” (Speechless. Just imagine if I turned on the loud speaker…) “Err, Yes, I will. Later.”

“Kakak, teach them Quran.”

“Hm…”

“Adik, I’m busy now. Talk to you later ok?”

—

Adik, thank you for reminding me the biggest and the most important job that I haven’t accomplished. Well, i haven’t even started. Oh Allah, grant me the strengths…

BismiLLah…

اقرؤوا القرآن وابكوا فإن لم تبكوا فتباكوا

Ertinya : Bacalah al-Quran dan menangislah kamu semua, sekiranya kamu tidak mampu menangis maka buat-buatlah menangis (Riwayat Tirmidzi, Al-Hafidz Al-Iraqi : sanadnya baik)

Malah nabi bersabda :-

إنَّ اللهَ لا يُعذِّبُ بدمعِ العينِ ولا بحزنِ القلبِ ، ولكن يُعَذِّبُ بهذا – وأشار إلى لسانه – أو يرحمُ

Erti : Sesungguhnya Allah tidak mengazab air mata yang bercucuran dan juga hati yang bersedih, tetapi Allah mengazab ini – sambil menunjukkan ke lidah- atau Allah memberikan belas kasihannya ( Riwayat Al-Bukhari , 1242 ; Muslim 924)